The sheer quantity of multi-million-pound flesh at Chelsea is mind-boggling – and a logistical nightmare.
After an absurdly extravagant January transfer window, Graham Potter was forced to field a 9v9 training match running concurrently with the standard 11v11 session just to ensure everyone had something to do. Supposedly, some of the club’s cherished assets were also forced to squat on the floor at team meetings due to the lack of chairs for the bloated squad.
Four seats opened up on the Chelsea bench shortly before the hour mark when Frank Lampard made the call to draw upon his intimidating squad depth as the Blues went in search of a winner against Brighton on Saturday afternoon.
How the Blues were even level by the time the fourth official’s board lit up was a mystery given Brighton’s dominance on the ball and in both boxes. Roberto De Zerbi’s side continued to play the intoxicating fluid football which has steered the Seagulls to seventh place, rattling off 20 shots to Chelsea’s three and boasting 69% possession.
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On his managerial return to Stamford Bridge, chants of “Change it Frank” were barked towards the dugout throughout the contest. Lampard duly obliged in the 56th minute.
Off came Christian Pulisic (who cost £57m), Enzo Fernandez (£107m), Wesley Fofana (£70m) and Raheem Sterling (£47.5m). B*tween them, Chelsea’s substituted quartet were worth £281.5m in transfer fees, a record-breaking change by the estimate of football finance expert Kieran Maguire.
The headline-grabbing sales figures naturally catch the eye but Chelsea’s attempts to circumvent financial fair play regulations by exploiting amortisation have left these underwhelming recruits on lengthy deals.
Pulisic was signed before Todd Boehly sidled up to the Chelsea hot seat and will be off the books in 14 months but Sterling, aged 28, is under contract until 2027 following his move from Manchester City last summer. Fofana put pen to paper on a seven-year deal in the same window and the most expensive acquisition in the history of British football, Fernandez, is tethered to Chelsea until the futuristic summer of 2031.
If performances, both individually and collectively fail to improve over the coming weeks – let alone months and years – the sarcastic cheers from a weary home support that greeted the mass substitution may morph into sharper criticisms.
The share of possession swung Chelsea’s way after the change – which saw Hakim Ziyech, Mateo Kovacic, Reece James and Joao Felix trot on – but Brighton continued to dominate the chances created, eventually taking a deserved lead through a scorching drive from Julio Enciso in the 69th minute.
Brighton ultimately finished the contest with 26 shots, the most Chelsea have ever faced in a Premier League match since Opta began tracking such data in 2003.
Conor Gallagher, who cost the club nothing as an academy graduate, broke the deadlock against the run of play in the opening quarter of an hour with a deflected effort. Chelsea’s first goal since March was teed up by another big-money signing who has flattered to deceive.
Mykhailo Mudryk’s sharp pass to Gallagher was his second assist since arriving mid-season. Damningly, this is a joint-high among Chelsea’s squad in the Premier League. The former Shakhtar Donetsk winger, who was snatched out of Arsenal’s clutches for a fee that could rise as high as £88.5m, has only fleetingly shown flashes of the talent that persuaded Chelsea to act so decisively.
In arguably his best performance for the club since a punchy cameo on his debut against Liverpool, Mudryk can at least take solace from the fact that he wasn’t part of a record-breaking substitution – this week at least.
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